16.12.12

Kafamda deli sorular var??

                                                                             

Acıtasyon ne varsa benim arkadasım, can yoldasım..
Simdi size bile sorsam en acı günlerinizi anlatın diye; ardı ardına iki dakikada neler neler sıralarsınız.
Hayat bumu! yoksa mutlulukları bir araya getiremeyecek kadar az mıdır yasamak.
Bunları sorgulatan o kadar çok neden var ki..Ben erkek kardesimi düsünüyorum da ne güzel yaptı gitti istediği hayatı yasadı ve suan istediği yerde..Ben kadın olduğum için fırsatlarımı ertelemek zorunda kaldım.
Simdi hala bunun ezikliğini yasıyorum.Sokulmaya çalıtığım kalıplara girmeyi reddedemedim..
Belki erkek olsam çok farklı bi hayatım olurdu.

Bazen gitmek ister ya insan....ben iste simdi gitmek istiyorum ama nereye gideyim!! sorusuna sıkıntımı giderecek bir cevap alamıyorum..Ortada hiçbirey yok ama ben hıçkıra hıçkıra ağlamak istiyorum..delirdim galiba.boktan bi dünyada boktan bir düzende ve boktan insanların içinde kendimi mutlu olmak için zorluyorum.
En iyisi kendimden kaçmak diyorum onu bile yapamıyorum.Ve ben simdi yatmaya gidiyorum.
İçimdeki zehiri belki beynimi uyutarak atarım düsüncesiyle......


10 yorum:

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Ben de derim bazen kadın olsaydım belki herşey farklı olurdu diye.

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Yeni fırsatlarla karşılaşırsın umarım :)

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